Many homes now have man caves. Man caves, as you probably already know, are separate rooms that are for the husbands to enjoy their hobbies whether it be darts and craft beer, hunting mounts and guns, or sports on a big screen and an ugly recliner.
Friends, I know you don’t want any of that hanging on your living room walls, but here’s what astounds me – our husbands are to have one room in the house to enjoy themselves, known as a cave. An article from Business Insider uses the words “sacred” and “retreat” to describe a man’s cave.
Where do you want your man to feel the most comfortable in your home? You don’t want him to retreat to a cave do you? And let’s be honest. You probably did answer the bathroom. He’d be in there even longer than his usual 1/2 hour! 😉 Did you say bedroom? I hope so because this is what I propose – that a married couple’s bedroom be a version “sacred retreat” for the husband and wife. Create a marriage sanctuary.
DIT or DIY?
Ok, you’re going to create a marriage sanctuary. Will you do it together or do it yourself? Some men don’t care what you do with their home. They’ll grunt and shrug and not seem to notice a new piece of furniture. I have that rare man (I’m sure there are more out there) that wants to help pick out our home’s style and voices ideas. He was raised with a very eclectic style at home while I lean more towards a modern Scandinavian. Our last sofa was a “win-win” except I really wasn’t crazy about it. The thing is though, the set lasted over six years and many people complimented it. So, if your husband does want to contribute his likes and dislikes to the plan you really need to consider his opinions.
Tips to Create a Marriage Sanctuary
Think about your husband’s hobbies.
What are your husband’s hobbies? My husband loves to read so our bedroom includes a bookcase to display all his Stephen King novels and graphic novels. Our nightstands have an open shelf on them for graphic novels. We have lamps mounted to the wall on either side of the bed so he can read in bed. They’re practical for him and pretty for me. Win win.
He’s a guitar player so I mounted U brackets on one wall and his guitars hang . Could I have as easily done some family photo collage? Yeah, but this as a simple yet beautiful display of who he is.
Does your hubs like sports? Consider a TV in the room (I can’t believe I just recommended that – I’m not a fan of tv LOL!). Does he hunt? Could you work a mount into the design somewhere? Is he a beer drinker? Maybe some coasters on the night stands? Work your man’s hobbies in as part of your marriage sanctuary somehow.
Pick paint together.
This one is really hard for me! As designer, I have strong opinions about color. I have a very neutral style. But with hand-me-down green furniture my husband thought green walls would be fun. All I could think of was yuck. But it’s not just my bedroom so I picked out several swatches of green and purchased the small testing cans. I painted small squares on each wall and we lived with them for a week. In the end, we have green furniture, green walls, and we both marvel at how beautiful it came out. We’re both completely satisfied! Again, Win win! Remember, even if you don’t love it, you can always redo the room in a couple years and try together again.
Our room contains both his electronics and my plants. Wires are everywhere and there’s a corner that showcases the modem and router (yes, that’s sarcasm). His electronics annoy me. I yell at the cats because they sometimes chew on my plants and on more than one occasion whole pot fulls of dirt have been knocked into the carpet. I water them in our shower. My plants annoy him. But we’re in this room together, so even if a detail creates a sanctuary for him but not me, it should be in our bedroom. I don’t want him to disappear into some man cave to enjoy himself.
Consider passing by that floral bedspread for a more neutral piece. If there’s something that’s near and dear to him, find a way to make a special display or spot for his beloved whatever, even if it’s not your favorite. He’s your favorite, right? 😉
Keep it clean.
My hubs has several key phrases that he likes to use. We have a blast going through them and laughing every Father’s Day. One is “My bedroom is not a playground!”. Our marriage sanctuary is situated between the dining room and the back door (don’t ask. IDK why) so it’s hard for the kids not to bring scooters, hover boards, etc and leave them in our floor. Keeping the bedroom clean provides a calming peace that we both feel is essential for making the bedroom a marriage sanctuary. So I suggest picking up the floor and making the bed every day. The common argument is that you’re just going to get into it again soon. Make it up anyway. It does something for your mind, the feng shui, something! It does something! LOL!
IDK about you but our corners and furniture tops seem to collect items and over time become quite cluttered. Once a week take the time to clear out the cluttered corners and vacuum or sweep and mop the floor. It transforms into a magazine photo and you both can’t help but be drawn into it together.
My mother-in-law taught me to strip the beds and wash the sheets once a week. I don’t get to it as often now that I’m working two jobs instead of staying at home full time, but clean sheets have the same effect as a clean room and promote time together…having fun. It feels so good to climb into clean sheets at the end of the day. After all, we could probably count time in bed together as one of his favorite hobbies so we’ll count clean sheets as following through with two of these tips. 😉
A Marriage Sanctuary
I really don’t have hate man caves. If there’s an extra room and your man would like to have theater seats and a big screen then go for it. What I am saying is that husbands shouldn’t have to retreat to a man cave to feel comfortable or enjoy themselves. Your bedroom as a married couple should be a sanctuary for both of you to enjoy.
Just picture it, a clean room that represents both of you with paint that you both agreed on and clean sheets to climb into together. Your man won’t be running to the man cave anymore. He’ll be running to join you! Make your bedroom a sanctuary for your marriage and enjoy your little peace of paradise together!
What’s the best thing about your marriage sanctuary? Will you be redecorating your bedroom soon? Comment below with your absolute favorite piece of decor. Share what your hubs loves about the room design too!
And just for fun, here are a few photos of our marriage sanctuary with his hobbies full display and our green walls. 🙂
Thanks for reading!