Why’d We Get Married?
I know, I know…that sounds like a stupid question. Of course, the answer is “We fell madly in love!” But let’s dive a little deeper into this. Why’d you get married to each other? What was the purpose in taking the leap? Do some of these reasons resonate?
My Mr. and I married young. Marriage was the way for us to be together every possible moment of every day. We wanted to build a new life together. We probably would’ve superglued our hands together had we thought it would help us spend more time together. I know being so young contributed to it and part of it might’ve even been starting a new life was a way to escape our current lives. You see, I was in crisis mode in my current life going through my parent’s divorce. We wanted to start a family together (so bad that we started one before we could legally get married) as a way to be together. We were hopeful for our intermingled futures.
Marriage by one definition is the combination of two elements. People get married because they want to combine their lives into one and build a life together.
The biblical definition found in Genesis is two uniting to become one flesh. One plus one equals…one? It’s more than combination, it’s the creation of a new “one” from two past singulars.
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24 (ESV)
The Main Goal
The main goal in marriage, put most simply, is to make it. Right? We want to be together forever. Marriage wasn’t a way to start having sex without judgement or a path to financial security. No one marries with the goal of spending some happy years together and then going through the pain of divorce.The main goal in marriage is to spend the rest of your lives together. Always, always, always remember the goal!
The main goal in marriage, put most simply, is to make it. To spend forever together.
The Opposition
Those lives get so busy, though! Are you busy? I know I’m not the only one! 😉
We get wrapped up in paying for the house and bills. You want your home to be a comfortable, happy, safe haven but that comes with a hefty mortgage. Many times one that’s not sensibly within our financial means. Pay that and the electricity, water, cable, groceries, car payments, gas, medical bills, insurance, the list goes on and on.
READ MORE ABOUT BUDGETING WITH YOUR MR.
To do that, most households take both spouses working outside the home. This means there’s the added pressure of climbing the ladders in our careers. It seems life’s expenses climb in price much faster than income does, therefore we need to take on more responsibility and hours at work, or even second jobs to afford the life we’ve grown accustomed to or so desperately want to obtain.
Have you noticed all the care required for the material goods that we acquire? The house needs to be cleaned, all the laundry needs to be washed, the lawn needs to be mowed. Again, the list goes on and on and on.
Then you have kids! Marriage with children is a whole different ballgame! So I hear. I wouldn’t know. What I do know is this. Caring for one child, multiple children, and even other family members is like adding yet another full time job to your plate.
Hobbies, interests, values, and perspectives can also change over the years. Life is the opposition! The very thing we wanted together in the first place seems to pull us apart. Is there an expectation that once combined the two of us will not dissolve?
No. We must always remember our main goal in this marriage! We can’t let this hectic life suck us into the tornado of busyness that destroys the very thing that we wanted in the first place!
It’s an ongoing battle. I know. But isn’t everything in life? It’s going to have painfully difficult times but doesn’t anything in life? The rewards that come from fighting for and persisting towards that main goal are infinitely more abundant than the difficulty.
Remembering the Main Goal in Marriage
It can be hard to remember that main goal in marriage that seems sooo far off when you’re right smack in the middle of a busy season of life. How on earth are we supposed to accomplish this?! What does making it even look like?!
Have you ever heard of a vision board? I’m suggesting something similar. You know what the main goal in marriage is. You want to grow old together! So why don’t we ever think to envision what that will be like?
- Growing in love.
- Blessing each other.
- Serving one another.
- Being happy together.
- Being one.
- Strengthening each other during hardships.
- Growing in character through trials together.
- Taking care of one another in times of need.
- Building a 100% unique life together.
- Making a difference in future generations.
- Leaving a lineage.
- Raising a family together.
- Spreading love to those you know as a couple.
Feel free to print this out and post it somewhere. It can go in your Bible, your keepsake box, even stick it in your iPhone Notes. Keep in mind the main goal.
The Result
Have a mental picture of yourselves as a couple in their 80s together after years and years of love. My hubs and I will, from time to time, talk about sitting on the porch together talking and griping about the young hoodlums ruining the neighborhood LOL!
We’re going to have our daily afternoon coffee and ice cream down at “the Ole’ Dairy Barn” as my husband says (what I’m guessing is maybe McDonald’s or Dairy Queen. IDK – I’ll guess we’ll find out when we get there!).
Give each other old people names. He affectionately calls me Doreen Mosley. I call him Melvin. Only the two of us know those are our nicknames right now that remind us of growing old and wrinkly and wise together. These are, in a sense, our vision board.
I know there will be hard times. I know there will be pain and suffering and sickness. We’ve already had some in our near two decades together. After all, we are living in a broken world. But we will choose to focus on making it in the long run. We choose to remember the main goal. I hope you will too.
See ya there!
To get to know me better, read about me & my saved love
Read Next:
- The Importance of Communication in Relationships – Communication Goals For Couples
- Wisdom from Grandpa & Grandma’s 50 Year Marriage; Learning from Other Married Couples
- This Expectation is Hurting You and Your Marriage.
- How Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People will impact your Marriage
- A Secret to Successful Marriage