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nothing more just say when marriage divorce

Making A Desperate Plea for Marriage – Points Made in the Song “Just Say When” by Rock Band Nothing More

Just Say When

We used to dream

We used to name the stars

Tracing futures lying in the dark

They said we’d never last

The brightest flame burns fast

We say words

We don’t talk anymore

Tonight we’re growing closer

Closer to the end

Were we fools for each other

Or fools for falling in?

Are we looking at forever?

‘Cause I don’t see it in your eyes

Have you had enough or do we try again?

The glass was half full when we stopped pouring in

So just say when

I see that sunset in your eyes again

I got that sinking, sinking, same feeling

They said we’d never last

And they were right, but I can’t help looking back

Tonight we’re growing closer

Closer to the end

Were we fools for each other

Or fools for falling in?

Are we looking at forever?

‘Cause I don’t see it in your eyes

Have you had enough or do we try again?

The glass was half full when we stopped pouring in

So just say when

Oh, we keep circling it never ends

We keep breaking down but never bend

Oh, we’ve been half alive

We’ve been half alive for way too long

Tonight we’re growing closer

Closer to the end

Were we fools for each other

Or fools for falling in?

Are we looking at forever?

‘Cause I don’t see it in your eyes

Have you had enough or do we try again?

The glass was half full when we stopped pouring in

So just say when

So just say when

Are you as infatuated with this song as I am?! It is just gorgeous. And heartbreaking. I’ve been listening to it over and over again lately. It makes my heart swell for marriage. It stirs up longing for marriages that are struggling.

Points Made in Just Say When

“The brightest flames burn fast.”

This is simply not applicable to marriage. You’re not guaranteed tomorrow. Love doesn’t burn faster and die sooner. Please don’t doom your marriage to failure because you think your flame is too bright, your passion too much, or your timeline too quick. Enjoy and be thankful for your bright flame.

“We say words but we don’t talk anymore.”

Busy can be used by the enemy to enslave you into subpar relationships. Please recognize if you’re schedule is too busy to keep the quality of your marriage where it needs to be. Knock some less important things off your plate. Prioritize time with each other. Keep talking, connecting, dreaming. I know your heart longs for it. It will take time. Take the time. Please don’t lose faith friend!

READ A BATTLE PLAN AGAINST B.U.S.Y.

“Tonight we’re growing closer. Closer to the end.”

I’m begging you – don’t ignore the red flags. Even if you don’t know how to handle to situation or have any clue if there’s a solution. Trust that there is. Act upon hope that there is. Address the red flag of growing apart. Start the process of healing & restoration. Be brave friend. Seek counsel. Ask a mentor to talk. Educate yourself with godly wisdom through resources. There are so many good ones out there!

“Are we looking at forever?”

This question was answered the day you donned that beautiful dress and said “I Do.” Don’t use the word divorce. Just don’t consider it an option. There’s always another option for a solution. I feel like today’s society people quit way too soon. My dream was a husband, a family, and a home. I had this picture of what life was going to be like. The problem is I expected life to be like that immediately after marrying. In reality it took years to grow into the love that I imagined. Years! Good thing we have forever. 😉

Side Note:

Now I’m not saying stay in an abusive relationship.  Matt Chandler talks about marriage (as many pastors do) and I love and very much agree with a point that he makes in a sermon:

“Now, I need to put a little asterisk on this. It’s covenant. “I’m not going anywhere.” If you are in a marriage that is abusive, violent, emotionally manipulative, and you’re anxious for your safety, I am not telling you to stay, and I am not giving your very broken husband permission to continue to bully you, scare you, emotionally manipulate you, or make you feel unsafe.

Husbands, I’m not trying to shame you. You are a broken soul in desperate need of help. You are battering and bullying a daughter of the King of the universe, and if you think there will be no repercussions for that, then you are a fool. Not to mention the generational carnage you are unleashing in your depravity.

Ladies, I also did not say to run out and get a divorce lawyer. I did not say that. Let’s create some space for you. Let’s get you into safety, and we can work on your marriage where you don’t have to worry about getting beat up or bullied. I think the church has to start adding this in this conversation.” ~Matt Chandler

Yes!! Work on your marriage. Marriage is a constant process of pouring in, growing through the struggles, hurting & forgiving, being vulnerable; exposed. Never stop pouring in. Even when you feel you’re the only one doing the pouring. Don’t stop.

A Desperate Plea

I almost feel like a broken record here but my heart yearns for you to have the satisfying love that you crave. Please hear me when I tell you falling out of love is not the end of a marriage. I know. My husband and I have been there. Please do not give up. You can feel completely done. I understand you feel out of love, & ready to move on. I know you want to be happy. It CAN get better. It can turn out better than you can even imagine. I wish I could tell my 20 year old self that and save us the monumental pain that took a long time to recover from. But hindsight is 20/20 so the only thing I can do is share with you and hope it helps.

desperate plea marriage nothing more just say when

And to Jonny Hawkins, I’m sorry. I’m sorry you went through the heartbreak and pain of divorce. Thank you for your transparency and thank you for sharing your amazing talent with us all.

For more goodness from Nothing More, check out their website.

Much love all,

Lauren of Truly Devoted to him sign off and circular photo


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