You’re tired. Maybe it’s been a crap day at work. He’s been at work all day too and now you’re at home together trying to figure out what the evening should look like for the two of you.
Over twenty years, we’ve had our share of good and bad days. Here’s what a healthy evening routine looks like for this husband and wife.
On The Way Home – Call Your Hubs
Before you even hit the front door, why don’t you give your man a call when you’re heading home? Start singing a silly song when he answers. Tell your hunk that you just can’t wait to hear his voice. Ask him how his day was. Go through the major events of your work day if/when he asks. Verbally go through what the evening holds and be sure to throw some kisses, hand holding, or hanky panky on the TDL. 😉
On The Way Home – Destress
If it’s been a rather horrific day at work, then maybe it would be wise to take a few minutes on the drive home to shed off the negativity and stress. Practice deep breathing while driving. Count to 4 while inhaling through your nose. Then blow the air out through your slightly puckered mouth. Mentally picture yourself getting rid of the bad as you exhale air. Focus on relaxing your neck, shoulders, and back as you exhale.
Dinner Plans – Eating Together
Have a plan for dinner. Have an appetizer. Hangry people are not pleasant people. So why not prevent that from the very beginning. Have a list for the week of 5-7 dinners that you have the groceries for. We buy the large packets of meat and split them into individual servings in quart size ziplock. This way whatever meat you need for the night’s dinner can be quickly thawed.
Dinner will still take 30 minutes to an hour to make so I’ve found that having a snack or appetizer out on the table is always welcomed and helpful. My Mr.’s favorites include chips and salsa, a bowl of grapes, summer sausage with cheese slices.
We also enjoy having some of our favorite music on while cooking to lift the mood and make the tasks more enjoyable. You can either turn it off or leave it playing while you eat dinner together at the table. That’s right, fold those 70s style TV trays (do people still have those??) and turn off the tv. I’m seriously hoping you have no idea what TV trays are!
Pick up right after dinner. Nobody wants to do this but it majorly sucks to have to come back to it later. So we’ve found that just biting the bullet and getting the table cleaned off and the kitchen recovered right after eating is the way to go.
Personal Time – Honor Each Other’s Space
Ok, you’ve fed your man. You’ve kept house. Now what should the evening look like? In our house we call the next chunk of the evening “free time”. We simply use that phrase because we have kids and announce it every evening. “OKAAAY KIIIIIIDS – AN HOUR OF FREE TIME BEFORE BATHS!!!!” loud enough to fill the house. You don’t have to call it that. Or announce it. He might look at you kinda weird.
But you get the point. Don’t be up his butt. If he’s chillin, give him some personal space and just enjoy some chill time yourself as well. He could be sitting on the couch watching sports. Sit with him and read or play a game on your phone. Is he laying on the bed reading? Sit up beside him and get some work done on your laptop.
It’s just about having some time to unwind. Some studies report that men and women have a different number of words that they use per day. It’s ok to sit beside each other, each doing your own thing, and not having to have a deep, heartfelt discussion about the meaning of life.
Down Time – Relax Together
At the same time, spend at least some of that down time together. After you’ve each unwinded and had some chill time, enjoy time with each other. Speak each other’s love language. Do something for him as an act of service. Play with his hair or give him a foot rub for some physical touch. Surprise him with a Redbox as a gift. Be sure and tell him thank you for little specific things he does and give him plenty of words of affirmation. Engage with him in some quality time by making eye contact and really listening.
What small things do you like to do together? Could going to the gym together be a healthy part of your evening routine? Go for an evening walk. Are you movie buffs? Watch your fav show together. Go run errands together, blast the radio, sing the duets at the top of your lungs, and stop for ice cream after you’re done.
Calling It A Night – Go to Bed Together
Go to bed together. This is something really important that you might not have even thought about! It’s like a vitamin. You don’t know you need ’em til you start taking ’em and are flabbergasted at what a difference they make. Same thing here. Have a cup of coffee or get up and move around to wake up a bit if you’re trying to wait on your man. In the opposite circumstance lay still in bed and talk to God.
Have an idea of what time you both want to call it a night in order to be on the same page in the first page. Talk about it! Men strip and get in bed. Women want to wash their face and brush their teeth and go through their nightly routine so know what time you’ve both decided to get in bed so that you can start working on those things before he so casually jumps into bed.
Get off your phones. Turn off the lights. Take a few minutes to go through what tomorrow’s TDL holds. Cuddle up close and drift off together or enjoy each other before closing your eyes and calling it a night.
Is every night perfect? Far from it! But these are a few of the habits that we’ve established that have really increased the quality of our evenings together after the 9 to 5 grind apart. I love my evenings with my man!
Cheers to the same for you!
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- Boredom Busters for Couples: A List of Things to Do When You’re Both Alarmingly Bored Out of Your Mind